Toxic People: How to Filter And Screen Out Negative People

Greetings, everyone!

I have been in rush to spill my thought to chivalrous-cat.com, quite a productive week, isn't it? I hope the posts i made had an impact to your life. I mean, i am not expecting a big one, as long as it boosts your mood or helping you to keep a positive mindset, that much is more than enough. Please remember on one thing, i am here not to preach, not to teach, not to brag, or not telling anyone what to do. The purpose of creating this website is simply to help people gaining their peace back or at least to replenish their mental health. I know i am still way too green in creative-writing, but i always do my best to make sure you guys understand what i mean.

Now, at this moment, i would like to discuss about the toxic people. I believe toxic people do exist, and they are everywhere; be it in our workplace, school, or even as close as in our family. Oftentimes, they are disguised as "friends", "family members", "co-workers".

It is easy to detect toxic people in other people's life, yet it is hard to identify ones in our circle, and tolerating these toxic people, is way too mentally-devastating. Just as how we despise fats or toxins running in our body, we do really want to remove them in order to acquire peace of mind. The good news is, you can always learn to detect them and quickly screen them out before they actually create a destructive damage that disrupts your life.

Who are toxic people? There are quite many definitions of my toxic people. Here are my definition of them. Perhaps, one of them might accurately describe that one friend in your circle?

1. People who hide their own agenda or "best-interests".

2. People whom always complain of not having what they don't have, and questioning why people have much more than them.

3. People who think that they are entitled, and deserve more of life.

4. People who tell a lot of good things about themselves, and tell how other people screw up.

Now, back to what i wrote in my headline: How to filter and detect toxic people? How would you know if there is someone toxic in your life?

It all becomes matter of identification and eliminating them once you recognize traits of behavior that toxic people show.

Is your relationship one sided? Are you always the one who puts the effort? Does the person will contact only if they expect something from you? How do their course of actions make you feel? Do they ever consider your feeling or your position in every their every action?

We need to be aware of sweet-talking charmers as it is way too easy to get sucked in their fake promises and lies. The people you want to be in your life is the one who gives you attention and presence when you are at worst; not the one who spews lovely words without any obvious actions.

How do they treat others who have no power against them?

Again, it is attention on detail that you need to put in order to observe the sign of toxicity of someone. How people act under a heavy turbulence of stress is worth noting for: How do they act toward animals, little children, old parents, waiters?

Do you know their friends?

As we grow older, we have more and more tendency not to tolerate any nonsenses. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Research has shown that we are ultimately affected by our environment even though we are not conscious of it. (Input reference) Whether you expect it or not, those who are closest us do influence our way of thinking, self-esteems, even life's decisions. That's why it is ideal to be surrounded by positive, supportive people who actually WANT you to succeed. You certainly have to think it all over again if your friend has a close relationship with those who spend way too much time on indulging quick gratification such as drug, alcohol, etc.

Do they appreciate the time you spend on them?

Toxic people demand. Yep, they demand your time, they demand your support all hours of day and night, like you are the one customer service to stand by 24/7 to listen all their negative bullshits. They are all self-centered and they will get their needs met first by simply relying generiosity of thers, yet they do not give back. And the reason behind their action is because they...

They lack reciprocity. Do something for them, and they will keep asking for that little jar of cookie in your refrigerator. What's worse, when you need support the most, they are nowhere to find.

How i deal with toxic people:

My advice is to stop tolerating the behavior and make plans to move them out of your life. Usually, toxic people are ignorant of their toxicity and simply go on to find others they can use and abuse. Absorbing their repeated doses of negativity will only counter your efforts toward self-growth and happiness.

Life without toxic people, how good can it be?

Now that you have screened out the toxic people, you are left with good ones. How virtuous can it be? You can find satisfaction and felicity with the people who make you feeling good, and it is healthy for mental health!

Stay sharp, guys!